He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
