I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh god it's open bar.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
