Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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