YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
