The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize