Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
