You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
