you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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