You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
