chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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