craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
