Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
