he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
