I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
