Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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