You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
