so explain again why im purple
no
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
