It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
