If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
