i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
