there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
