he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
