Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
