seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
