How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
