when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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