The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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