Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
