hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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