If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
