I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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