Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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