And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
MIDGETS
????
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
