yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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