I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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