pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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