Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
