Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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