If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
