Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
