why didn't you poke me back
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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