I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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