Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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