Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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