In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
