Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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