Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
