I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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