i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
