I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
