btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
