At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
