i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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