I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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