I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
