I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
