How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
