I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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