he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
