come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Randomize
