I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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