Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize