You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
