She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's just like the Real World with babies
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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