Just fell off a train. Bad.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize