Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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