I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
