areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
