whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
