Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
