Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
