Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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