id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
