why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
