It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
